The last thing Xena remembered was putting her arm around Gabrielle telling her to sleep. In the morning the pain would be gone. How could she have lied like that? Even Xena herself knew that nothing was going to be the same. The pain for herself was too much. He died a hero though. He always wanted that. He had always wanted to die a hero and he did. *But I could've stopped it!* Thought Xena. *Some how I could've ran faster or stayed with him.* While Gabrielle had different thoughts. *I sent him for those goose eggs. I should've told him that I didn't like goose eggs. I killed him.* The pain of loosing him was too great for the girls. Sure they had to admit that they hated him always hanging around, bugging them but still there was a sense to him. Something they couldn't place their finger on. Xena thought she had most of it. He had honor. He had risked his life to save Argo when he knew well enough that he could've never stopped Callisto. Still he tried and forever Xena would be grateful for that. *Then why did you let him die?* Asked a voice in her head. *I didn't let him die! You did. I didn't! I know I didn't kill him. He...he got his own self in trouble! Gabrielle should've never let him go after those goose eggs.* What was she saying?! It wasn't Gabrielle's fault that Joxer got killed. It wasn't! Was it? *You killed him you know. You had him go after the goose eggs. I didn't! Xena should've saved him! She knew how stupid he was!* Gabrielle! How could she even think a thing. She shook her head. It was no one's fault he died. He died a hero. He tried to stop something. He was the warrior he always wanted to be.

*And the things I said about him. About how we could never be together. Be in love. That...That...* Gabrielle couldn't finish the thought.

"Xena."

"Yes?"

"He loved me didn't he."

"He worshipped you like a goddess."

"I did kill him. Like Callisto. I killed something in his soul, then I sent him for those goose eggs and he got himself killed. Like Callisto tried to do to you. I killed him Xena." Gabrielle fell into Xena and cried. Xena patted her head.

"The only people who killed him were the people who stabbed him. It was murder Gabrielle and we didn't hold the swords."

"Love." Was all Xena could hear.
 
 

Gabrielle used her staff to help get her up the small hill while Xena rode Argo. Gabrielle shook her head. She was forgetting something. She looked over at a statue. A statue of Aphrodite. Without really knowing what she was doing she picked a couple of flowers and placed them in the cupped hands of the statue. Xena looked back.

"Gabrielle are you all right?"

"I feel like I'm forgetting something. Like today is something important."

Should she remind her? Every time someone mentioned it Gabrielle would have some sort of panic\fit\attack.

"Do you know Xena?" Xena looked away.

"No. Let's keep moving. We have to get to Verbatim by night fall." Xena said turning around. The two kept moving.
 

In Verbatim Gabrielle was sure people were looking at her. Like I did something bad. Like I killed someone. Gabrielle's eyes went wide. She had never killed anyone! Had she? Her brain was racking over something. Something she was forgetting and couldn't remember. A short but thin man ran up to Xena and shook her hand.

"Xena! Thank the gods you're here!"

"What's wrong?"

"Pareus is what's wrong. Pareus' 'kingdom' is just a mile from here and when he heard that we had started to loose control over his rule he came back and killed most of our people."

"You mean Pareus the warlord?" asked Gabrielle.

"That's the one. Conquered us about twelve years ago. No. Wait it was twenty years ago. Conquered us right after his oldest son was killed. Then his youngest son was forced out of his home. His daughter is some sort of Priestess but no one knows much about that. His wife died about nine years ago."

"So what happened to his youngest son?"

"Didn't you hear? Surely you must have."

"What?" asked Xena.

"His youngest was killed 'round bout ten years ago. Stabbed after trying to stop a fight in a village. Some say his body was never found. Others say his girlfriend burned it on a funeral pyre in a lake. Either way he died a hero. Stopped two families civil war which was tearin' the place up." Xena looked at the man and then at Gabrielle. Now she was wondering too. She felt like she knew whoever it was the man was talking about.

"Well I'm sure you two are tried. Come. My wife Phoebe will take care of you and I'll take your horse to the stables."

"Thank you Heron."
 
 

Gabrielle slid into the bed she had been given. She couldn't remember the last time she slept where Xena wasn't sleeping next to her. It felt good though to be in a warm bed and to have a stomach filled with rich warm food. Phoebe was modest about her cooking. She was probably the best cook around here! Something still plague Gabrielle's mind though. The boy Heron was talking about sounded familiar to her. She would ask Phoebe tomorrow. Xena had said that Phoebe talked about as much as Gabrielle did. Gabrielle grinned a bit. Was it possible anybody could beat her out at talking?
 
 

"Good morning child! Did you sleep well?" asked Phoebe the next morning when Gabrielle got out of bed. Gabrielle bit her lip.

"Yes." she lied. She hadn't slept well. Her dreams consisted of colors swirling about. Greens, browns, silvers, and red. A deep dark red swirled around all of it. It had freighted her but Phoebe didn't have to know that.

"Where's Xena?"

"Went scouting she said. Care for breakfast?" Gabrielle could never resist food so she sat down. Phoebe joined her.

"Phoebe could you tell me about Pareus?"

"What would you like to know?"

"His children."

"Well his wife first gave birth to Owen. His oldest child. Owen had blonde hair and brown eyes. He was strong and handsome and played the lute. Owen died at the age of nineteen summers. His second child was...oh why can't I remember?! Started with a J...Jacob? No that was the little slave that was kept around. J... Jacob could never pronounce it. J... Ja...Ja! I'm getting close. Joxer! That's right! His second child was Joxer!" said Phoebe happy she could remember the name. Gabrielle's eyes went wide in horror.

"Joxer?" she asked in a hoarse dry whisper.

"Let me get you some water child!" said Phoebe getting up.

"You said Joxer right?"

"Yes. His name was Joxer. A bit clumsy but he grew out of that. Some of the girls thought he was cute. Had brown hair and eyes. Played the lyre. He was sweet." Phoebe handed Gabrielle the water but she immeaditly sat the cup on the table. When her hand released the cup Gabrielle burst into tears.

"Child! What's wrong?"

"He... he had loved me. He died in my arms. Xena and I...we gave him a funeral pyre and Xena sang her song. I prayed for years it was only a bad dream but I realized it wasn't. I loved him." Phoebe had walked over and held Gabrielle. Phoebe knelt besides Gabrielle.

"He was a simple child Gabrielle. He died doing what he always had dreamed of. He had stopped a war. He had created a peace he had never known. He died with out a wish unfulfilled."

"I didn't love him back until it was too late."

"He knows now that you love him. Everything will be fine child. Release what guilt you had. Remember when you think of the dead..."

"The dead can hear your thoughts." Finished Gabrielle. Phoebe smiled and Gabrielle ran out of the house.

The End